Driving with dementia is one of the most challenging issues many families face when caring for an aging parent or grandparent. Dementia can quietly affect judgment, reaction time, and awareness, three skills that are critical for safe driving.
The challenge is that while some older adults recognize when it’s time to stop driving, others may not see the changes happening. For them, driving still represents freedom, control, and independence.
At Farrell and Grochowski, we regularly help families navigate this sensitive topic. If you’re unsure how to approach the conversation or when to take action, you’re not alone.
Why Driving With Dementia Is a Serious Concern
As dementia progresses, it can impact decision-making, memory, coordination, and the ability to respond to sudden changes on the road. Even familiar routes can become confusing, and lane-keeping can be difficult or dangerous.
No one wants to imagine their loved one being injured or causing an accident. That’s why it’s important to have these discussions early. Addressing driving with dementia is not just about protecting the driver, it’s also about keeping other road users safe.
For more background on how dementia affects daily life, the Alzheimer’s Association offers valuable insights and resources.
How to Start the Conversation Without Conflict
Talking about driving with dementia requires empathy, patience, and a calm approach. Avoid making the conversation feel like blame or control. Instead, focus on safety and care by saying things like:
- “I’ve noticed a few close calls recently, and I’m concerned for your safety.”
- “Let’s discuss ways you can still get around safely.”
Offering realistic alternatives can help your loved one feel supported rather than restricted. Options might include:
- Local senior shuttle or transportation services
- Rideshare apps like Uber or Lyft (with help setting them up)
- Assistance from friends or family with errands and appointments
- Grocery delivery and online prescription services
Reassure them that giving up driving doesn’t mean giving up independence.
When Kindness Needs to Be Matched With Firmness
For many, driving is tied closely to identity. Giving it up can feel like losing part of themselves. If your loved one resists, be gentle but firm. Make it clear this is about protection, not punishment.
If transportation options are limited in your area, families may need to get creative—taking turns driving, arranging scheduled rides, or setting up regular routines that still provide freedom and connection.
Involving a Doctor for Support
Sometimes, hearing from a trusted doctor can carry more weight than hearing from family members. A physician can:
- Evaluate driving ability
- Recommend stopping driving (which may be needed for DMV requirements)
- In some states, report unsafe drivers to the DMV
This professional guidance can help take the pressure off the family and make the decision more objective.
When Immediate Action Is Necessary
If safety is at immediate risk, urgent steps may be needed. This could include:
- Taking away the keys
- Disabling the vehicle
- Filing a report with the DMV
- Involving law enforcement if necessary
While this can create tension, protecting your loved one and others on the road must come first.
How Farrell and Grochowski Can Help
If you’re unsure about the legal steps to take, our team can provide clear guidance. We regularly assist families with:
- Power of attorney
- Guardianship or conservatorship
- Understanding legal rights when protecting a vulnerable adult
- Avoiding liability if an accident occurs
You don’t have to navigate driving with dementia alone. Our elder law attorneys can help you make decisions that balance compassion with safety.
You’re Not Alone
Dealing with dementia and driving is emotionally challenging, but many families are walking the same path. Whether you need legal advice, a supportive plan, or direct action, we’re here to help. Contact Farrell and Grochowski today to speak with an experienced elder law attorney who understands your situation and can guide you forward with care and confidence.
